A Tribute to G.P. Telemann

I must begin with an apology. The man to whom I pay tribute was born on 14 March, and today is the 17th. Bad me! Still, better than never. . .

At any rate, the man to whom I pay tribute is, let's be honest, my musical God—and he enjoys a place of high honor both on my in-dash CD player while I am driving, and on my computer headphones while I am writing Counter-Feminist material.

That's him to the right, in his music master's robes, at the height of his creative power! And it was power indeed, for Georg Phillipp Telemann is credited by the Guinness Book of World Records as the most prolific composer who ever lived. In the course of his 86 years, Telemann wrote a ghastly, appalling, ungodly amount of music. Not all of this has survived however, and some of it, archived in Dresden, was tragically lost during the bombing of that city in World War II. Still, plenty of Telemann's music is still with us, and I haven't heard but a sliver of it yet. So. . . that gives me something to look forward to, and something to live for.

But let's cut to the biographical part, shall we? Georg Phillipp Telemann was born on 14 March, 1681 in the city of Magdeburg, in what was then the Kingdom of Prussia, was later East Germany, and is now part of the reunited Germany. Telemann's father was a Lutheran pastor who died when Telemann was 4 years old.

Young Georg Phillipp showed an interest in music at age 10, quickly taught himself the basics, and by age 12 had written an opera and mastered several instruments. His mother, however, disapproved, confiscated his instruments and sent him away to a boarding school where he would hopefully learn some sense. Oh, but our dauntless lad was a little man going his own way, and he continued making progress in music under the approving eye of his new schoolmaster!

A few years later Telemann went off to attend the university in Leipzig, with the plan of studying law. But his musical gift was soon discovered by others, who wanted to give him jobs! So Telemann quickly forgot all about the law, and made music his life. And frankly, I think he made the right career move—although I'm sure he would have been a fine lawyer if he'd stuck to that path.

In the following years, Telemann was extremely active in a variety of musical endeavors, and travelled widely (as far east as Poland) while working in the courts of various noblemen. In 1721, he became the music director for the five principal churches of Hamburg, a post which he held for the rest of his life.

Telemann had his share of troubles. His first wife died while giving birth, and his second wife turned out to be an adultress and a gambling addict who ran Telemann into gravely serious financial jeopardy—whereupon the good citizens of Hamburg took up a collection. Finally, the marriage broke up and she absconded with her lover, a Swedish officer. She ended her days in a convent.

Through it all, Telemann maintained a superhuman workload that you cannot hope to imagine. He composed music in every genre—much of it quite innovative—and he even tried his hand at engraving and writing poetry! In later years, his composing declined a bit while he took to writing books of music theory.

As for Telemann himself, he was, by all accounts, a fine man. A gentleman. A man with his head screwed on exceptionally straight. A man with no enemies anywhere, except maybe for that Johann Kuhnau fellow in Leipzig. In sum, G.P. Telemann was what we in our modern vernacular would call a cool guy.

In Germany during his lifetime, Telemann was universally acclaimed and admired. In matters musical, Telemann was "the boss". Telemann was "the man". His reputation was awesome; unmatched; unrivaled.

And Telemann's music is . . . what shall I say? It is wonderful! Delightful!

Words do not fail me. The music of Telemann is like unto, well . . . a bright clear morning that never ends. It sparkles. It scintillates. It abounds in rich harmony, enchanting melody, robust good humor, ingeniously crafted musical ideas, and forthright manly spirit. And to me it even sounds. . . patriarchal. Yes, I said it!

And boy does a Telemann tune ever stick in your head! But the good news is that you love every second of it.

All right, enough dithyrambics. Do I have a sample? I do, of course. Here is a "rarely performed" flute concerto by Telemann (all 4 movements) that will melt your heart, assuming that you 've got one. Follow the link below, and an MP3 will open in a browser window all by itself. You can listen online, or you can download the MP3 (if you know how) to enjoy locally at your leisure:

http://tinyurl.com/yejtnz3

Back for seconds? The following CD-rom albums come highly recommended—by me, of course!—and can be ordered online. You'd be foolish to pass this up; it isn't often you'll get nectar from the gods delivered to you on little plastic disks for only $16 USD! Trust me. I have excellent taste and I would not steer you wrong! Both albums are five-star (say I), and I would encourage you to find room in your budget for them:

http://tinyurl.com/yf3l76m

http://tinyurl.com/ybxm73v

So in conclusion, I wish the very best of 329th birthdays to the man whose voice speaks so eloquently across the centuries. Georg Phillip Telemann, you are richly appreciated because you ROCK! Or rather, because you don't rock! And rest assured, you will forever and for all days be the reigning king and sovereign of my CD collection!


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Oh, by the by, here is a last little goody for ya. It's a YouTube thingy about the feminist pop singer Ani DiFranco, who is talking about her latest album it seems. I don't know, I didn't even watch the thing. But I just thought I'd toss it in here, just in case somebody is interested. You never know. Maybe somebody is interested. Maybe not. . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZUXWrdDZfs