Let Us Now Bitch-Slap Joseph Biden!
Perhaps you have heard about the notorious episode where Biden "plagiarized" a speech by the British politician Neil Kinnock? Well, I'm not terribly fussed about that incident myself. Considering the trifling magnitude of what he actually did, I'd call it a faux-pas at worst. But still, I'd like to quote you the relevant passage. Here is what Biden said, which closely paralells what Kinnock said:
"Why is it that Joe Biden is the first in his family ever to go a university? Why is it that my wife... is the first in her family to ever go to college? Is it because our fathers and mothers were not bright? ...Is it because they didn't work hard? My ancestors who worked in the coal mines of northeast Pennsylvania and would come after 12 hours and play football for four hours? It's because they didn't have a platform on which to stand."Joe Biden sounds mighty frigging proud of his ancestors who worked 12 hours in a coal mine and played football for four hours when they got off shift. Personally, I think they were a contemptible lot of fools. I would spend every precious second of those four hours recuperating from the trauma of twelve hours in the pit -- that's what I would do! If I wasn't sleeping like a lump of anthracite for that entire time, I would be doing something, you know . . . spiritual! Something intellectual. Something restorative, cleansing, uplifting. Something that would develop my "inner platform", if you know what I'm saying.
But Joe Biden's ancestors -- oh no, they didn't have much common sense, did they? They preferred to bang around on a field for four hours immediately after banging around in dark, poisonous, life-threatening conditions for 12 hours -- leaving a slim eight hours in which to sleep, eat, wash up and whatever else before they went back down again. You know what? It looks like Joe Biden's ancestors weren't exactly the brightest lamps in the mineshaft. . .were they?
All right, now that I've insulted Joe Biden's ancestors, let's dig down to the real coal seam of the matter. We all know that Mr. Biden is an incorrigible bigot, with a one-track mind, on the subject of domestic violence. He is also what we call a white knight, a gynocentrist, or a woman-firster. That is to say, he is perfectly happy to throw innocent men under the bus in order to serve women. When he was a kid, little Joey's sister Valerie would slap him around with impunity, protected by a parental "nuclear sanction" if her brother should ever strike back -- even in self-defense!
"In my house, being raised with a sister and three brothers, there was an absolute - it was a nuclear sanction, if under any circumstances, for any reason, no matter how justified, even self-defense - if you ever touched your sister, not figuratively, literally. My sister, who is my best friend, my campaign manager, my confidante, grew up with absolute impunity in our household."
"And I have the bruises to prove it."(laughter)
"I mean that sincerely. I am not exaggerating when I say that."(laughter)And it seems that these were not the only occasions when little Joey would let his sister get away with anything:
"When they were children, Mr. Biden was a member of the safety patrol, but he turned in his shiny blue badge rather than report his sister for her bad behavior on the bus one day. "And now that little Joey is a big Liberal Democrat Vice-President, he wants to inflict his own childhood on the entire male population. That is why he sponsored the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) back in 1994 (with a little help from Conservative Republican Orrin Hatch) and that is why he goes on repeating anti-male lies in order to maintain this legislation in its pristine radical feminist form.
So, Teri Stoddard has posted a call-to-arms over at the SAVE Services website, exhorting us all to get in Joe Biden's face. Now, I don't believe for one minute that Biden doesn't know where it's at. He knows perfectly well what the dispute is; many people, in many ways, have informed him over the years. And yet, Biden has never once acknowledged the state of the debate. If he would at least hold a press conference and flat-out tell us we are WRONG, that would be a huge step forward. The trouble is, that he has never admitted the existence of any controversy at all. He keeps it in the shadows because he knows that if he shines a lamp on it, it will enter the public discourse and there will be no end to it.
So in a nutshell, Joseph Biden is a guilty dog who knows exactly what the problem is but won't step up to the plate because he wants to keep the problem just the way it is. And if I am wrong about that, then he had better call a big press conference and PROVE that I am wrong about that!
Very well, go now and read Teri Stoddard's statement at SAVE. You will find plenty of good links there.And consider e-mailing the politicians in question, especially Biden himself. But I urge you to maintain at least a "barely respectful" tone, difficult as that may be. If you intend to savage him, you should do this in public statements and not in private communications:
But seriously now, I don't believe this chump will ever amend his ways. And that is why I'd like to sentence him to a northeast Pennsylvania coal mine for the rest of his life. He should work the ancestral 12 hours under the same conditions his ancestors worked -- none of these new-fangled union benefits! And every day when he trudged wearily out of the mine at the end of his shift, a bevy of Playboy bunnies in swimsuits would be lolling near the exit eating strawberry shortcake. On random occasions, one of them would walk up and smack him upside the head the way Valerie used to do, leaving a bruise to prove it. And if Joseph Biden ever so much as touched that Playboy bunny -- not figuratively, literally, even in self-defense -- then he would directly get a nuclear sanction in the form of a 400-lb company guard pummeling him with a rifle butt. Then he would be sent away, snivelling, to his mandatory four hours of football.