Monday, March 04, 2013

The Universal Disclaimer

I disavow any discreditable speech or action by any group or individual represented as representing me.

Memorize this and apply as needed. ;-)



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any group or individual represented as representing me probably ought to be disavowed anyway. Especially Hugo Schwyzer who is just beggin' for a-peggin' but I am not personally well suited to such an unseemly task. I do wonder, if Hugo begs for a peggin' will he be a-glad to be a-receivin' on the comforts of a park bench in the whereabouts of Vancouver, on a park bench shaped like a vagina in the whereabouts of Vancouver?

Of any such knowledge or curiosity of, there is no consonant. Only disavowal, disavowal, here.

8:13 PM  
Blogger Fidelbogen said...

Oh come now, what has ol' Hugoboy ever done to you, other than pontificating upon the nature of your male soul without asking your permission?

10:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, he made me read a detailed description of helping his ex wife to remove a, well, just say a thing, that was stuck up in another thing, and it was very odd, because they were at her parents' home and having a bit of a charade in front of them because they had just had a private conversation about how she wanted a divorce, and it was in these circumstances that he had to help her remove the thing, from the thing, I mean the one that was stuck way up in for some reason. Anyway, that's only one thing too. Incidentally I don't understand given the circumstances why he couldn't get his buddy Dave Futrelle to do that for him, kind of ala Newman as "The Cleaner" on Seinfeld. He also apparently is papering the e-walls of Jezebel with pretty much every despicable implication that men are bad and women are good in apparent attempt to get women to think he's a good guy again after hitting feminism rock bottom (no, I didn't mean to imply he tried to hit on Sheila Jeffreys). He even... well, at any rate, he did do some stuff, I'm not really angry but if he were at a party, well I don't know what party that would be and I probably would be ejected at the door of any such party so I have done my best sufficiently to answer your question. Also I do think pontificating upon the nature of my soul without permission, and also dragging his own admitted proclivity for "pegging" into it, projection style, is in itself a sort of literary flatulence that really cannot easily forgiven, but perhaps if I only try harder, avoided. If he's trying to make Dennis Rodman look insightful by comparison well I reckon then he has struck a chord, albeit on an instrument almost no self-avowedly straight man would ever care to produce the first awkward squeak from but most men would also not write an article about pulling a thing from his wife's thing in great detail so I guess I don't know everything, hell I only just recently found out that in people in Vancouver are so liberated that the park benches have big vaginas in them, so you look at it like that, well, I may not be the one ask anyway.

8:33 AM  
Blogger Fidelbogen said...


To be honest, I never read Jezebel 'ceptin when somebody calls my attention to something of special interest in it.

As for Hugo: you know that he is no longer anywhere in the vicinity of the GMP...?

A guy who publicly talks about pulling a thing from his wife's thing is a huge public embarrassment any way you look at it. If ol' Hugoboy has any redeeming quality, it is surely this: that he can be relied upon to make a public ass of himself periodically.

I halfway want to know why that thing ended up in his wife's thing, but also...halfway don't want to know. How's that for ambivalence?? ;)

11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like "normal" ambivalence, thus out of Hugo's area of interest for sure.

I don't know what GMP is. Oh, I just realized good men project. To my credit, I read that thing right first time I read the title, also website it kind of clunky and difficult and also I found boring. Jezebel to it's credit goes in small predigested morsels no doubt for its target audience, with plenty of cat fights to follow.

Everyone once in awhile I have wandered over to Jezebel, I guess to see if it's still as bad as before I guess, I think it might be a little like Cosby's spoiled milk, even though you know it's spoiled for some reason you just have to take a sniff then you regret it, or perhaps gawking at a thing. I don't know, but looking at that stuff is the sort of thing you kind of want to explain.

Sorry, I have bloviated here, and about what's his name too. He did it first.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Eriu said...

I'm intrigued and repulsed in almost equal measure as to what the "thing" was that hugo pulled out of his wife's "thing"

Like slowing down for a gawk at an accident.

I only commented on this because I was reading some of your excellent writings fidelbogan and happened to pop into here.

Carry on :)

(formerly Oirish lady)

1:17 PM  
Blogger Fidelbogen said...


Well maybe some day I will pop over to the website and find out what this thing is all about! ;)

1:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's the very thing you're avoiding thinking it was, that and exactly that and that again. Compared to some of his recent posts on Jezebel, which we just won't touch here, not even with a longish vowel, it's really just a mundane, tepid, workaday run of the mill kind of thing for Mr. Schwyzer. Poor fella. I only feel bad for him.

8:16 PM  

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