will step onto some thin ice here, in taking a small risk that I'll sound like a "wimp" or something of that kind.
All right. I believe it is important to engage feminists in a non-abrasive way, and to genuinely LISTEN to them.
That may be impossible to do with the radical haters, but with the mainstream foot-soldiers it is quite easy. When they start spouting off their ill-formed opinions about "MRAs" and whatnot, you should switch into Disengage Mode, and engage them in that mode.
Suspend your personal feelings
about what they are saying. And forget about debating or explaining. Just take a hint from Socrates, and commence to asking them questions in order to draw them into clarificatory statements. They might actually say something inculpatory -- you never know -- but that is not what you seek. What you seek, rather, is to know their actual thinking, with all possible precision, from their 0wn subjective vantage point.
To put that more cleverly, you should go about to gain objective information about their subjectivity.
In such manner, by repeated experiment, we chart the psychic topography of the enemy. Yes, good maps are vitally important for successful campaigns. There is no substitute for a correct definition of the situation in all of its its dimensions.
Learning the mind of the enemy in this manner will give you a great power boost in the practice of rhetorical discipline, teaching you precisely how NOT to fall afoul of their prejudices. This will help you to craft your message to the best possible effect, so that you cut off all their avenues of escape from the realization of what you are saying, thus driving them into a corner in their own minds and bottling them up in a way that neutralizes their effectuality.
Therefore, be a good listener! After all, the feminists love to remind us that "men don't listen", so I say it is time to lay that stereotype to rest.